This is Egypt, land of milk and honey and superfluous prescriptions for everyone. One doesn't need an insurance card or ID to purchase any type of medication here: from Tums to Klonopin and everything in between. Furthermore, there is no need to distinguish between over-the-counter and name brand drugs, because they all come over-the-counter and almost everything is written in Arabic so I can't distinguish what is 'name brand' and what is not. It's great! This is not the best part, though. The most outstanding part is that one doesn't even need any kind of license or education to prescribe these drugs! I love it! Of course you must take into account that I come from a country where one needs an "Over 21" license to buy a white-out pen (this is a slight exaggeration). Nevertheless, I do find this altruistic, curative practice to be a little unorthodox but quite convenient in a time of need.
That time was this week. I must admit that I have seen more of Tabib (Doctor) Mohammed since I've been in Cairo than I've seen of my roommates. I have been to the school clinic for everything from a muscle spasm to a cold to falling in the Nile River and being warned of these little worms that can burrow into your blood stream and give you a hectic time. If you truely know me, you know that the later bit of information is true and only such events are common to me. But anyways...After a bought of dehydration (which an ensuing story will discuss), I visited the doctor and was given several different prescriptions to combat the symptoms of that particular ailment and sent home with the order to drink as much as possible. Later that night I was awakened and called to the bathroom by a mysterious yet all too realistic force which, henceforth, grumbled in my stomach the entire following day.
Not until after I attempted my own remedy did I realize that maybe these doctors and pharmacists who so readily prescribe a wealth of pills and medicinals know what they are doing. I thought that eating some type of food which would absorb the fluid in my stomach would cause the grumbling to, in the every least, subside. I chose this wonderfully filling, inexpensive, native Egyptian dish called Kushry. What once was a wonderful fast-food is now the bane of my stomach's existence. This dish is comprised of small bits of pasta with a covering of hummus/chick-peas, lentils, and a patina of unidentified fried stuff accompanied by a small amount of tomato dressing. Just delicious! This splendid meal did bring my stomach to rest for a while, but subsequently expanded in that small cavity producing pain in my whole abdominal region into the lower reaches of my back. This is a sensation which caused me to almost double over in the street outside our downtown campus library. Indeed, it was not a pleasant feeling.
After calling as many doctors that I know, only to realize that most doctors are still working or in meetings at 8 pm at night, I finally got in touch with a gynecologist. This wasn't as much help as I had hoped, but shortly after a dear friend of mine who is an intern doctor (at the age of 23-imagine that) texted me the names of some prescriptions I should buy. If only life were that easy in the states! I probably would have been a lot less tentative about admitting sickness and pain if I didn't have to put down a $50 co-pay every time I wanted to hear the doctor say, "Drink more water and take some Ibuprofen." As I walked back onto the campus, the lovely security guards, some of whom know me and others who just pretend they know me, asked me what was wrong. I told them my situation. (It is lovely convenience that my vocabulary lesson for the week is about going to the doctor with pain in the stomach - I know how to say diarrhea in Arabic!) He immediately called the school clinic, which closed five hours prior, and then directed me to the on-call doctor. El humdu allah! Thank God!
Four different prescription drugs and a full-night's sleep later, I feel much better. This is just to prove that DRUGS DO WORK! Of course the little bacteria in my colon, most likely from some kind of food poisoning, didn't stand a chance after I pushed so many potent pills into my system. Nevertheless, the pain is gone. I still am an avid non-believer in pills, but yesterday I was almost converted to the dark-side. Almost.
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